My Tips for Processing Big Life Changes
Wisdom From "The Phantom Tollbooth" and My Tips For You
Hi everyone! I am really inspired to write this one because it’s very much where I am at right now. I thought it would be helpful to many of us, so I hope you are looking forward to it and have something nice to enjoy this with. Juice, coffee, croissant…!? :O
As we move through life, so many things change. Everything is always in motion, things are always changing, and so many times they change for the better. I remember a lot of times when I was angry, or sad, feeling stuck and worried. But this is why it’s so important to remember that there is always change, and sometimes you can go after it and welcome it in, and other times you wait for it. But change is a really good friend, and he always visits if you let him and want him to!
Big Life Changes - How to Tell if You’re in the Midst of One
As you may know I just recently changed jobs. What you probably don’t know is just how deep and far-reaching this change has actually been for me. I myself did not really see this or know this.
As I take my time to work through things, and process lessons, the past, my feelings, my way of thinking and being, I realized the other day just how much in a better place I am, than I have been in years. More on this in a little bit.
But the point is, sometimes when you are going through a lot, you don’t really realize that you were - or are - and you might not even realize just how big of a change there has been - or currently is - in your life.
It’s easy to take our achievements and especially our feelings and life events almost for granted. You may think that something was really great, or you feel proud of having done something - some moment - but before you know it you may even forget just how much you actually did.
When we take a moment to step back and see within ourselves and around ourselves - to really take everything in: how we feel, the way we act, what we say, what we do - we can start to see a lot of changes.
When you feel like there’s a lot of things you do now, that you weren’t able to before, you could really benefit from taking a very important moment of gratitude. Really take everything in and realize how far you’ve come. What you have achieved, what you did, what you’re doing, maybe even how different you are.
For example, if you always struggled to speak to strangers, but you now find yourself more easily engaging in conversations, you should really appreciate this huge change and congratulate yourself. Maybe you have been working on different things for a few months: like confidence, public speaking, self-worth, self-image - it could be anything, and so many things that you may be working hard on - and the result is that now you can do one thing better: speaking to strangers.
You may feel like it’s a small thing. You may think it’s only a small improvement, it’s “only” one thing you’re doing better. And it could be better, you could be even more open and friendly. You could work harder. But hold on - maybe before you didn’t have any courage at all to speak to strangers! And look at you now!
Sometimes what happens is you’re so hard at work on something, that you don’t really even take the moment to let yourself see how much you are really achieving!
This is also common in things like exercising: you’re looking a lot better but not realizing it because you’re only focused on a goal; studying: you aced three exams but one you only got a “B” on - you wanted four perfect ones so you don’t even realize that you have already accomplished something amazing.
The point is, it’s so easy for us to get distracted, and even lose sight of where we are and how far we’ve come. Maybe you raised incredible children who are out in the world doing amazing things. But as a parent, you keep worrying, you keep reaching for more goals, making sure they have all they need, making sure you’re still providing, still being available. But maybe you haven’t given yourself the chance to be really, really proud of yourself - and just live with that feeling. You have accomplished it. What you were looking for, you may have found it.
Look around and appreciate the view. There’s so much here for you!
When we’re in the middle of big life changes -it can be even harder to see all of our successes and accomplishments.
So if you see new habits maintaining consistency, or new behaviors becoming easier, or even a lot more peace or calm in your mind and body - you have likely accomplished quite a great, and big change, but you may not even have really given yourself the chance to process it and take it in.
My Tips For Processing Life Changes
As I say above - take time to look around and really see the view.
Do you see:
new healthier habits?
new healthier behaviors?
healthier personality traits?
More easily maintaining new, healthier patterns?
Are you happier? Calmer? More at peace?
Have you recently made decisions that are completely in line with who you are?
Have you made decisions that get you in line with who you want to be?
Have you made any changes that result in you living a more honest life with yourself and others?
These kind of changes can have really huge positive impacts in our life. And sometimes, we can be so happy, or so invested in where we are and what we are doing, that we could just not see what’s around us.
So here is my advice and the tips I have for you:
Process any of the questions above that you feel relate to you
Answer them honestly and take your time
stop. look around.
breathe.
allow yourself to stop chasing or working
Be fully present and truly arrive in the here and now: where exactly are you? How did you get here? how many choices have you made for yourself recently that have resulted in so much positivity?
Do you see how much there is to be proud of, and thankful for?
You’ve done this - you made it here. You worked hard, or worked through things. You gave it your best effort. You wanted to make a change, to do what felt right for yourself - and look at where you are now.
Never allow yourself to lose sight. Don’t ever allow yourself to lose sight of:
your past successes and accomplishments
how hard you worked before to get them
your current accomplishments
Don’t ever be working so hard, or diligently, that you forget to look around. Don’t ever walk around with your eyes down on the floor, failing to see all the beautiful things around you. There is a passage from one of my favorite books, The Phantom Tollbooth, that I would like to share with you:
“What did they do?” asked the Humbug
"Nothing at all," continued Alec. "They went right on living here just as they'd always done, in the houses they could no longer see and on the streets which had vanished, because nobody had noticed a thing. And that's the way they have lived to this very day."
"Hasn't anyone told them?" asked Milo. "It doesn't do any good," Alec replied, "for they can never see what they're in too much of a hurry to look for."
I recommend this book in full, and you can see just from this excerpt why it is so great.
Take Your Time - All the Time
remember: accomplishments are so many things:
better emotions
happier, calmer, more at peace
able to do things you weren’t before or were scared to
It’s not just things like “your job”, or “doing something” (like winning a prize, or doing well in something…). Accomplishments can be on an emotional level, a spiritual level, family…
So really take your time, all the time, to see the changes around you and really help and allow yourself to process this.
It’s important to be proud of yourself and who you are. You deserve it.
With lots of love,
Thank you <3
CAMBIOS, no me gustan y me desconciertan,me asustan y llenan de ansiedad, pero son necesarios para crecer como persona y crecer en la sociedad, son indispensables, son necesarios pero no me gustan. De cualquier manera hay que tener cambios en la vida y aunque no queramos vienen a nosotros como opciones; opciones de trabajo, de amistades, dieta,casa,coche; siempre tendremos cambio y no siempre será positivo pero ahí estará y tendremos la opción de tomarlo y arriesgar o seguir con la monotonía que quizá nos lleve a un cambio inconsciente y no deseado.
Hay que analizar nuestras opciones y tomar el riesgo porque cuando miramos atrás nos damos cuenta que estamos mejor y más felices con nosotros mismos pero siiii es aterrador.
Muy linda reflexión ♥️🌹