New Year New You? Don't Worry, Read This Instead
Flowing with the seasons, setting achievable goals, and staying inspired year-long
Hello! Welcome to this week’s post and the first of the new year :) I hope you enjoyed the end of year check in, and found that useful and practical for reflecting on the year just gone. This week, we discuss the natural new year, dealing with the pressure of celebrating new year and the pressure of having “resolutions”, dealing with that feeling of “having to make something happen” / “fresh start”, and with the lack of inspiration and dedication that hits most people not long after the new year. I also talk about why this lack of inspiration tends to hit people.
If you’re ready, let’s dive in :)
First of All - it’s Not the Natural New Year - So Don’t Panic!
You don’t need to have it all figured out right now, you don’t need to tell yourself that your entire plans for the year have to be figured out right now, and it’s ok to feel like you are still in the middle of a season. You are!
But.
I think it’s important to stay aware / semi-aligned with the pace of society. Yes, that’s right, you have just heard me, life-long anarchist and matrix destroyer, just say this.
I think this for a few reasons:
First, you feel and become less isolated;
And when you have gone the isolated route you kind of end up having a Chris McCandless “happiness is only real when shared” epiphany, and returning to society eventually anyway because you recognize that it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be to just go full on monk. At least, you’ll return to society in a way that is more balanced and works for you. For me, that’s less uber-monk and more full-on minimalist, and avid (serious, genuine) zen practitioner (as in every minute of the day).
Second, you remain grounded and goal-driven by remaining invested in society.
Too much “I’m doing it my own way” leaves you feeling like you are one person and everything else is a part of this dogmatic matrix which you feel to have no footing in. Keeping up with the shifts in society (new year, different celebrations or calendar markings etc) keeps you more inclined (I find) to maintain that material footing. Pursuing the career and society goals and seeing them as valid (which they are!)
Third, you just won’t be a weirdo. Ok, this one is a joke, but the point is that it’s important to have that view over both sides: the natural side, and the matrix side. Yes, we know they changed the calendar; yes, we know the real new year should flow with nature, in Spring, when the whole Earth is renewing.
But remember - there is a north and south equinox. Spring up here ain’t Spring down there. So as a cohesive, societal, hive unit, it’s nice to all come together and celebrate the new year the Gregorian calendar way.
So yes, it’s all good to flow with the natural seasons of wherever you are, and you should. But let’s also accept and embrace that there are indeed positives to having a fresh, new, or at least semi-new start at the beginning of the (widely accepted) new year.
It really is a good time to put goals in, to set standards, to review, reflect, to engage in leveling-up on all fronts really. A lot really can be accomplished if you put your mind to it and there is no reason that we should all be anti-system in this regard because, let’s face it, you do live the rest of your year in line with the calendar anyway. So no real need to be an overly-fanatical-it’s-not-really-the-natural-new-year person.
Let’s just hang with the hive on this one; it’ll give us some good positives you’ll see.
Personally, last year was the biggest and most important year of growth for me, and it was all achieved because I took the “new year new me” mentality really seriously. I applied myself, and really decided that I wanted to take control of my life.
Of course, this was also a very serious exploration of getting through some very serious, personal issues and situations in my life. From a life of moves around the world, crazy experiences, deportation at age 13, and so much more, last year was truly one of the first years where I really had full control of my life. I made and lived by each one of my own decisions and it felt great to be completely in control. It’s my life. My choices, my timing, my decisions.
And then I also found out that it’s also divine source’s timing. All in good fun.
So yes - I strongly, strongly recommend setting goals, having a mindset to improve, taking control, having ownership of your life and choices, and taking part in the new year extravaganza.
However, I just also believe that it can be done in a balanced, fruitful, positive, and meaningful way.
The Pressure of Celebrating New Year and Having Resolutions
Which leads us straight into our second point: you feel pressure to celebrate new year (some just naturally enjoy it, others feel it’s kind of a forced holiday and they don’t really care about it). You also may feel pressure to have resolutions, new starts, feel fresh, finally make those changes, finally level-up.
Whenever something is new, we are naturally inclined to really feel excited about it and invested in it. With the start of the new year I always used to feel this really “fresh” feeling and like I couldn’t wait to clear the house out of stuff I didn’t need, and just tidy my life up basically, and finally get everything in order. Without a clear plan, steps, and purpose, you will completely lose track and inspiration, however.
So instead of allowing yourself to feel that “new start” pressure, instead try to run with the excitement you might feel about giving yourself the chance to change some things and do better where you can. Everything doesn’t have to be new, you don’t have to be your finished self, and you can do better little by little (sing the Oasis song here)
Write down your goals and plans if you have them, but do it with an open mind and heart, and awareness as to how you will seriously go about achieving them.
I’m a big dreamer don’t get me wrong. You don’t jump from country to country by being a timid mouse with no balls and no aspirations. But I think one of the important lessons I have learned is to just slow down. Calm down. Dream big, but also plan small. You know?
This year, I didn’t stay up until midnight. Yes, I can blame it on baby, but the truth is I just felt like I didn’t want to force myself into this annoying thing where we stay up until midnight, and, I don’t know, the next day you just feel exhausted, etc. It wasn’t really how I wanted to start the new year.
I think because I am finally so, so content, grateful and happy with where I am, for the first time ever, the new year wasn’t an excuse for me to throw everything out the window and run away. Instead, it was an opportunity to challenge myself to stick to who I am now; and I say challenge lightly - more like I can’t believe how solid, grounded, content, and happy I am, and I am enjoying seeing myself continue on this path. I love my job, I love my house, I love where I am, I love that I’m going to have a family, I love my routines, and I want to stick to all of it. I want to keep being who I am!
Ain’t that a first! I’m not running away! So I was chuffed when it was January 1st, and I woke up early, refreshed, and did my journaling! I was like yeah - go me!
So it’s ok to do new year’s eve differently, and new year’s day. If you feel like staying up or going out just isn’t your thing (either anymore or ever), don’t feel pressured by friends or family to try and “make the most” of it, or do something special. If you feel like doing it your own way, it’s important to pay attention to that. You’re not missing out or doing anything wrong if you want to take new year’s eve slowly or differently.
I know that sounds really obvious, but there are a lot of people who continue to do things just to make others happy or because they think it might be a good thing to do. If you tend to do that, then try from now on to say no more, and yes to yourself, your wants and your needs.
Setting Achievable Goals and Resolutions
Avoiding a lack of interest and inspiration
So as you will know from previous posts, I set serious goals last year. I really thought some would take me months, like achieving full splits. But by the end of January/mid February I pretty much achieved the splits (if you don’t know, I was already an athlete and regular yoga practitioner and just wanted to perfect full splits, I didn’t go from zero to hero).
It’s important to set your goals and aspirations but it’s more important to think about the little steps you can take to actually get that done too. Don’t micromanage, but if there are large or serious goals, it’s worth giving them a little bit more planning. Some things you can think of are:
see how manageable the day by day steps are;
how much commitment it would or wouldn’t take;
how feasible is it;
how regularly would you need to spend time on it;
how easy or hard you feel it will be…
The more honest you are with yourself about the possibility of attaining that goal, the route to achieving it, and the path you need to consider, the easier it will be to actually commit to it - and stay committed to it.
That’s one way to avoid that total lack of interest and inspiration that hits many people as they try and “stick” to their resolutions. Be honest with the real process behind any important or big goals you may have. Sometimes people will randomly set things. This year I’m going to do exercise all the time. Well, what does that really mean? How will you really go about it? What, specifically, do you really want to attain?
Not only do they make the mistake of wanting to be the best version of themselves immediately, but they also overburden themselves with difficult demands that translate into more commitment or time than they are willing to actually spend on achieving any said goals.
We shouldn’t place an unrealistic demand on ourselves or our time; when life inevitably starts getting in the way, or on days when you feel less motivated, or times when you need an extra boost to keep going, that’s when you will start to dip out from that path you were starting to carve in order to reach your goal.
So be honest from the outset.
The second way to avoid a lack of motivation is to set attainable, practical little things that you can do most days.
This avoids you having only large-scale goals, and will give you a sense of purpose and the ability to stick to something over a longer period of time. The longer you do something, the quicker it becomes a part of your life and a normal part of your daily routines or habits.
Smaller-scale goals can look more like making time for an interest or hobby, or spending less time doing something, so you have more time to do something that matters to you more.
Some examples of my own “smaller-scale” goals for this year is to spend more time:
painting
writing
in silence
reading
taking the dog out more regularly; and
being properly hydrated every day.
The difference here is that it’s not all or nothing. All or nothing can totally work but it requires a strong level of discipline and interest in the pursuit. As before, when life gets in the way, all or nothing won’t usually cut it for most people unless they are (in my experience) serious athletes or just serious people pursuing a craft.
So New Year New You Can Totally be Positive and Healthy
As long as you do it in the way that works for you
So for this week’s practice, if you have set goals, try and keep tabs on how many of your small-scale ones you have been able to achieve.
Did you drink all the glasses of water you wanted to? Did you make the effort to go on a walk? Did you read a page of something (if reading your book is a goal).
See by the end of the week where you came up short and where you succeeded. I find it really helps to be honest; think about it this way: if you did great with some goals and didn’t manage some of the others, take the next week to make sure you do at least 1 or 2 of the ones you didn’t quite do this week.
Instead of feeling like you failed because you didn’t do everything, recognize that you actually did great because you did manage to do some of it. Embrace the color and irregularity - you’re not a perfect machine all the time and that’s ok. If you didn’t quite get around to some of your small-scale goals this week, that just means you have the chance to do them now.
Of course, for more serious goals or practices, the best thing I can recommend is to have a source of inspiration that goes beyond some kind of gratification. For example, if your goal is to do more exercise (one of the most common ones), think carefully about what your end plan is. Sure, to be healthier or fitter. But I would suggest narrowing this down even further.
A lot of times, doing physical things just in the hopes of looking better, or even “being healthier” won’t be enough. Going plant based for two weeks will dramatically lower your bad cholesterol and greatly improve your blood pressure (if you suffer from high blood pressure). However, not only are people usually incapable of committing to this for even two weeks, they won’t usually see any of those internal benefits and changes really showing on the outside.
Some people really do! But the point is, a drastic change is occurring internally, but you won’t see any drastic change externally. However, you will be a lot healthier.
So the point is that having some tangible results in mind, for whatever you are looking to do, is really helpful. This stops you from losing faith or interest, because it keeps your progress more visible. This applies to anything: relationship, financial, personal goals of any nature!
Personally, as a zen practitioner (for lack of a better summary), we are not results driven in this way. We don’t demand visible results or progress. We understand that everything is a process and progress happens inevitably if you are doing the work; but we never engage in something solely for the achievement of a goal.
The more people that could adopt this mentality, the more understanding and empathetic our world will be. One thing is definitely true, if you want to make a difference in the world, start right here, with you. If everyone did that, if everyone truly worked hard to level-up and be super kind, knowledgable, intelligent people, who believe in causing no harm to any, this world would be a completely different place.
And though this world would be completely different if the majority aimed for this, I firmly believe that this world is as it is, on purpose. We are here for this journey and experience, and it is not supposed to be a nirvana. So take the new year by the reigns and do your absolute best. Your will and intention to improve and better yourself and the world will impact the collective.
I hope you found this week’s post useful, helpful, and practical, and I’ll see you next week! <3 :)
Hey finalmente, que rabia!!! Haha
Bueno es muy interesante ,como siempre, lo que escribís. Creo que lo más importante es estar conforme con uno mismo y ser feliz, porque realmente elegir que hacer o como festejar, si es que quieres, el Año Nuevo que como decís muchas veces se festeja por obligación y no nos da felicidad sino al contrario nos estresa porque pensamos : me gustaría que ta fuera mañana o no se que hacer para que este último día del año sea conmemorable , y claro, eso no es disfrutar de esos días de fiesta Lis cuáles deberían ser inolvidables. Yo recuerdo mis años nuevos de mi infancia con nostalgia y pienso ojalá se repitieran, pero crecemos y cambiamos ; a mi me encanta disfrutar de esos días pero claro no es lo que uno quiere por la lejanía de los seres queridos y eso hace entristecer pero siempre hay que hacer lo mejor de cada momento y así no hay reproches, porque sabemos que tratamos lo mejor , lo mejor para cada uno es diferente; mi mejor es estar en familia , ver movies , cocinar y comer cosas ricas y mirar a tu alrededor la cara de casa uno que te rodea y agradecer si felicidad♥️No pido mucho, sin embargo cuesta