It Takes Courage to Slow Down and Stop Rushing
Target Culture, Alan Watts, the Here and Now, and Your Exercise of the Week
There is no hurry. And in a way, there is no future. It is all here. So take it easy, take your time, and get acquainted with it.
-Alan Watts
Hello! Welcome to this week’s post. I hope you have a nice drink with you like tea, juice, coffee…and have set aside some time to just be here, enjoying life, reading, and feeling calm. This is a very important place to be - here and now - and being present in a state of calmness, where we enjoy life and are doing something we like is our most important achievement.
So this week we will explore how important it is to live in the here and now with a series of Alan Watts quotes and my personal story. Living in the here and now is really the only thing to do. Exist in the moment we are in.
As Alan Watts says, “There is no hurry”. There is only the here and the right now. So I share my personal story about how I am trying to find my way back to myself after the past few years of world upheaval and the impact my career in law had on my personality and happiness. I describe how I still feel the constant need to “be somewhere”, or doing something; feeling like there isn’t enough time, and needing to rush.
So this article will also contain advice and tips for how you can better implement being present as much as possible in everything you do. Achieving calm, mindful presence. Being fully aware in the here and now. Because right here and right now is all there is.
It Takes Courage to Slow Down: How Target Culture Affects Our Wellbeing
In our fast paced society, like my previous post discussed, we are always thinking that more is more. More fun, more photos, more appointments, more stuff, more friends, more training, more learning, more comparison, more achievements…
Before we realize it, we are pretty much consumed by living in a state of target-reaching. Many of us are very goal-oriented and achievement minded. And even those who might not be as target-oriented will usually still have to-do lists and things they want to accomplish or do by a certain date or time…
While it’s fine to have goals, set targets, and work towards things, it is important to remember that we should not allow this to completely occupy our consciousness, or our time. If it starts affecting our happiness, it’s wrong.
For example, how does that photo make you feel? Personally, I didn’t even want to use it, it’s horrible! You may feel stressed or worried, looking at it. This is because you will be reminded of how many times you have had to rush, had busy days, and too many appointments. But the reality is that we just can’t be everywhere at once, and we have to learn - and keep reminding ourselves - that we shouldn’t try to.
While we work at slowing down, being more mindful, and present, we can find that we are still subject to unconscious or conscious impulses and reminders. For example, we are going on a walk, but still thinking of something else. We are talking to someone, but we are worrying about what time it is. We are sitting on the couch, and feel we have to be doing something, or making sure something gets done.
All of these impulses, thoughts, and feelings, take us away from being fully present in our current moment. And a lot of this is a result of “target culture”.
Our society revolves around this. You have targets at work, personal targets we burden ourselves with, and much more.
Our fast paced world revolves around goals, achievements, success, jobs, money, making improvements, comparisons to others, and so on and so on. This is target culture. At school or at work, we are never taught that a simple life, without any goals, is also a valid life. So we are always running. Always rushing for the next thing. The next goal, meeting, to-do task…But this keeps us from being present in the here and now. This stops us from finding happiness.
Disconnecting From Target Culture and Reconnecting to the Present and Ourselves Instead - My Personal Story
Again - though there isn’t much of a problem with having targets, there is definitely a problem if we have too many, and our time is too occupied with being “busy”. Living in this “busy”, hectic, or target-driven state will pull us away from the here and now. It is such a shame, because instead of being calm, mindful, happy, and present - we feel rushed, lacking in time, anxious, or worried. We can even feel like this when we do have time. I can certainly say this from personal experience.
The stresses and pressures of our life can make us feel overwhelmed. That’s why it’s important to slow down - like I talk about here:
I have certainly found that I was affected by this “target-driven” culture more than I realized. As a result of our jobs and lives, there may be many ways which we allow this “target culture” to influence our every-day. This was definitely the case for me.
I found I wasn’t always as present as I should be in my current moment. Instead, I was thinking about the end result. This left me feeling in a constant state of being in a rush, or feeling anxious, or like I had somewhere to be or something to do. I discovered that I viewed moments of my every-day life as just the “means to an end” — Just the in-between — “so that I could ______” (fill in the blank).
For example, I am walking along this path, “so that I can” reach the end of it to go to the supermarket / see someone / do something.
I am going to the supermarket “so that I can” buy food, and make a meal when I get home.
I am in the car “so that I can” get to that cool picnic place and then that’s where I can have fun.
Do you see? I wasn’t present for every moment. I wasn’t present for the in-between. The ride there. The walking around. The getting lost. The hike before the picnic. I viewed these moments as times that got in the way of being at the end goal. The target. What was I in such a rush for? What was the point of all that time I was trying to free up? To do what? Spend more of it rushing?
It’s very easy to say “life is about the journey not the destination” — Sure, great. But when we really do try and implement constant mindful awareness and presence in our current moment, we may find there are stumbling blocks to just how present we really are.
I was taking the hike, so I could get to the view. Meanwhile, I lost out completely on the beauty of living my life right here and right now.
How Our Jobs and Society Impact Our Ability to be Present
Now, I never used to be like this. I had no issue being present, and being immersed fully in whatever I was doing. I grew up free of electronics, and was taught to have no distractions when doing something. I was brought up with respect, sport, martial arts, and presence: to be conscious of what I was doing, and do it with my full awareness.
World events had a big impact on my ability to be present. Due to the “lockdowns” and lack of access to basic things - going for a walk was punished - I was left with the “scarcity mindset” I talked about here. It left me feeling like if I didn’t do it now, I might never have access to it again. Like if I didn’t rush, or make sure I could do as much as possible, I may never be able to again. Do you find you were affected this way? The negative psychological and physical effects of that trauma are sure to last for a long time, and people of every age were very severely and negatively affected.
But lately, I also discovered that my job had really changed me too. It had impacted my day to day approach to life, and indeed, my day to day entirely.
I noticed that I became hyperaware of time, due to my unhappiness at work. Even though I used to always talk about how time doesn’t exist! Now I was ardently waiting for it to be 5:20pm so I could finally finish work. I counted the minutes and kept constant watch of the time. I felt more and more anxiety as the day went on and I counted down. I was constantly living in “the future”. Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t the Marty McFly experience. Instead, it just took me away from the here and now, and gave me anxiety. I always felt rushed and lacking time, even on my days off.
I lost that ability to be fully present, and completely immersed in every moment. No matter how much free time I had, I only felt rushed, worried, anxious, or stressed. Even if I had “vacation” days, I wasn’t calm because I knew it was temporary and soon I would be back behind the desk.
The more unhappy I became, the less present I could stand to be. So instead, I was always running.
Running out the door come my free days. Running to buy things to try and fill that unhappy/stressed gap. I couldn’t bear going on a walk, or reading. I didn’t want to be alone with myself because I knew how unhappy I was.
Now this is not only a result of my job. But largely, it was. I felt very much like I had no real source of happiness, me-time, peace, and importantly, control and freedom in my life. Many of us can feel this way, for a number of reasons, or for similar ones. This is why it is so important to check in with ourselves.
So it takes courage to slow down. It does. Because it means we need to be in touch with ourselves. It means we need to be kind to ourselves. We need to listen to ourselves. We need to stop running. We need to just exist, right here and right now, without worrying, or thinking about the future. We have to stop comparing, expecting, and wondering.
Your Tips and Exercise of the Week
Over the past months, as I encouraged myself to stop running, and turn my life around, I very slowly became more and more able to be present in the smallest moments. It’s interesting, because I was still practicing mindfulness daily, but when you are overwhelmed, and do not address that feeling or deal with its cause, you really are refusing to practice mindfulness fully.
I would try to be conscious with every small task - cutting vegetables for the meal, washing my hands, standing up from my desk…but it wasn’t until I admitted out loud that I was very unhappy, and accepted it myself, that I could really start working on being truly present again.
It has only been the past few days where I have found myself craving silence again. It has taken months of work. But now I don’t feel as rushed, and as the day goes by and I make better choices. Every time I make a better choice, the impulse of rushing disappears more and more too.
I find myself reading, and wanting to be still long enough to do so. I have stopped doing two, three or four things at once - I don’t scroll on my phone/look things up/write whilst I am doing something else. I dedicate all of my attention to the one thing I am doing.
I can’t really express how much better I feel and how much more calm. Everything is a process so we need to be kind to ourselves. If you want to start feeling more calm, less rushed, more joyful, and way more present, try this:
Stop multi-tasking. Do one thing at a time, and do it with your full attention;
Reduce or get rid of a to-do list item unless they are necessary
Try not to check the time, or be controlled by it. For example, it’s good to have certain times for eating, and sleeping etc, but try not to give yourself pressure.
Try and address issues. If, like me, there are any deeper issues you can work on, do it. Everything can be worked on.
Force yourself to make better choices. Rewire that “rushing” response. When I start feeling that impulse of being overwhelmed, or like I’ve got to be “back for something”, overly conscious of time, etc, I instead just stop and breathe. I make the choice that will force me to take a longer time. I tell myself to be more aware, and be present.
For example, instead of rushing from point A to point B, consider adding an extra stop, a longer route, or even just to start, if you can’t handle those things, force yourself to sit still and breathe a few times before you rush in to whatever you are doing. Be it groceries, work, friends, walking the dog, etc. Rewire that “rushing” response.
Try this walking “meditation”: Breathe in for 3, 4, or 5 steps, whatever is comfortable. Then breathe out for 4, 5, or 6 steps. Again you choose the step count that works, it might be one step. But this meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh is very effective. It makes you focus exactly on what you are doing and where you are - it stops you thinking about anything else.
May we all live as free and as present as all the animals of beautiful Earth. I hope you will take the time to make some of these changes if you need to. I hope you really enjoyed this read too. All my love, and thank you for being here. <3
Yes it does takes courage to slow down and stop and live the moment with no rush of things, things that can be done at their time.
It’s very difficult to slow down, I know because I’m always was doing a lot in just a little bit of time but I realize that I’m not more rich or happy, I was just running, and, for what?
Be happy with the things that make you happy and please don’t rush every moment because “ this moment “ it’s no coming back♥️
Thank you for your blog♥️🌹